A Post for Dad

Five years to this day, and I still remember rushing to the hospital after the news that Dad is being shifted to ICU and it was all over by the time I reached. I was late, by a lifetime. This is remembering him for all that he was for me. 

He was not a very popular person, in fact he was considered an introvert and was always uncomfortable in crowds and gatherings and kept to himself. It still surprises me on how could this guy even manage to propose and end up marrying my mom who was totally opposite in nature. Although he did not mingle well with many people he always maintained a set of friends and held them close to his heart. His best friends were his books which he always carried where ever he went.

In my mom's words he is a very passionate and sensitive person who couldn't express well and that it is our duty to try and understand him which I never did, and argued. He was a Translator by profession for thirty nine years, which means he was a master of languages but  always failed to express what he wanted to tell. Maybe it was me who failed to understand him.

He has a beautiful handwriting and almost painted the words he wrote and  was very poetic but he would never show it to anyone. Even I wouldn't have known it If I didn't come across some of his writings in an old neglected book.

When I was about seven years old I was being shouted at by my mom for violating her iron rule that I should always play in the same street and get into the house before it gets dark. At one point my mom asked me to get out of the house and live on the streets and i don't even know what got into me, I turned around and stepped out assuming my mom would back out but it misfired and my mom slammed the door behind me and asked not to return, to which I replied I was not going to. Once outside I was devising my plans on what to do and where to go and I thought that I could go to my aunt's place which was close by but wasn't really sure about the directions. Then I saw dad returning from office in a distance and accumulating all the tears I could accumulate, ran towards him, jumped into his arms and complained that I was asked to get out of the house. I am sure he must have smiled within himself but he never showed it out. He wiped my tears carried me home,  shouted at everyone responsible for it, then he fed me and put me to sleep. I was a happy kid again.

I remember how he used to wake me and my brother everyday by rubbing our eyes gently while we rolled lazily on the bed throwing childish tantrums. He used to massage our hands and legs and pulled our fingers and toes to make them click while our mom got us hot steaming milk with lot of foam which was a necessity. 

He used to polish our shoes until they are really shining and even put them on us himself, he used to tuck in our shirts neatly, cut our finger nails, when the time came for me to move on from the regular pre knotted ties with elastic bands to the regular ties, he taught me the secrets behind single and double knots and he derived pleasure out of all that he did for us. We were more afraid of our mom than our dad and always used to run to him for consolation or to get anything done. he was very different from the regular run of the mill dads. He was always warm and cozy and me and my brother used to compete to snuggle by his side.

As we grew up, like everything else our lives changed or rather we changed and started moving away from him creating a gap that we never attempted to bridge. We always expected him to bridge the gap and understand our arrogance and everything was his fault. We always complained on what he didn't do than realizing all that he did. Through all this, he always watched out for us, gave us good education, morals and values and was always proud of us.

I still remember the day rushing to the hospital realizing how wrong I was all the time and wanted to tell him how proud I was of him and how much I loved him but it was too late. Although he wouldn't hate me for what I did, now as a father, I realize how much I have hurt him after all that he did for us. I am sorry dad and I couldn't be a good son to you, I will at least try to be a good father.

Dad... you are the best that I ever had and you will always be remembered and cherished.