Why So Serious!!!

I keep hearing about "people" wondering and often getting offended by the fact that Indians don't respond to their greetings or don't return their smiles. Let me be more specific, when I typed "people", I meant "NRIs" who have spent some 20 odd years in India, been in US for about 5 years or more and have either returned or on a visit. Here is my take on it.

1. When you have spent majority of your life here in India, it shouldn't be a surprise to you that Indians don't respond the way you expect them to respond.

2. Just because you are outside the country for some time and learnt some courtesies and manners, things don't change back here. We are like this only!!!

3.This is same even with the Indians in US too, there have been instances when my existence was not even acknowledged  when I tried to smile or wish them.You can take an Indian out of India but you can't take India out of an Indian.

4.Finally, in those years that you spent in India while you were growing up did you ever respond to strangers smiling at you or wishing you? Really???

Now I am fine with foreigners wondering or getting offended when Indians don't respond to their greetings or smiles and feel obliged to explain couple of things, draw some comparisions and give them a different perspective.

First, some vital statistics...

United States of America

Area : 98,26,675 Square Kilometers

Population : 31,35,94,000

Density : 33 people per Square Kilometer

India

Area : 32,87,263 Square Kilometers

Population : 1,21,01,93,422

Density : 369 people per Square Kilometer

1. If your response to the statistics above is among the lines of "Holy Mary Mother of Jesus!!!", I will assume, I have made a good start.

2. India is one third the size and 4 times more in population in comparision with USA.

3. Effectively, with the density of 33 per square kilometer one would be happy to see another human being in USA, whereas with the density of 369 per square kilometer one would be happy not to see another human being in India.

Example: Eating 2 slices of double cheese, all meat pizza is delightful and satisfies your hunger whereas eating about 10 slices of the same pizza will give you acidity, indigestion and constipation. 

4. In USA, with the kind of unique lifestyle, people are alone most of the time and would want to be greeted or smiled at, whereas in India  Everybody involves in Everybody Else's life all the time, resulting in people getting suffocated and would want to be left alone.

5. It is not entirely true that we don't smile or greet anyone, we do that with our family, friends, relatives, acquaintances, colleagues which will be equivalent to the population of a small town in USA.

So, next time when you visit India, instead of wondering "Why So Serious!!!", please realize the above facts, eat  Biryani, take pictures of Taj Mahal and leave happily ever after.....

Fix It!!!

One thing I thought I would never post is anything related to cricket. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate cricket, I was crazy about cricket to the extent of losing my engineering seat in the entrance exam. But those were different times when cricket was a game. I can tell all about how things have changed and all that but we digress.

The focus of our topic is the news that is making rounds, "Match Fixing in IPL".

The authorities, media and cricket fans are shocked about the news, the same way politicians are shocked about corruption in politics, or people visiting Las Vegas are shocked by the gambling in the casinos. I for one, agree to disagree based on some facts.

FACT1: The players are bought by different  team owners  by bidding on them in an auction based on their capabilities and the highest bidder gets to own the player. The more money you have, the more capable players can be bought and the more chances for winning the game. The entire premise for IPL is folks contributing hefty sums of money to increase the chances of winning the series and get more returns.

FACT2:Now not everybody is rich enough to own a team, but would be willing to contribute meagre sums of money in this event  with the expectations of winning the series and getting more returns, A.K.A Betting. However, unlike the owners they don't get to buy capable players. So they do the next best thing, buy the capabilities of one or more players which increases their chance of winning.

I don't see a difference between these two facts. So I say, go ahead and make it official to bid on the capabilities of  some players,  so that everybody (Not just some obscenely rich Industrialists/Actors/Corporates) has a fair chance at winning and getting more returns out of the game. You call it whatever you want, for me, it's just good business.While we are at it let's make some rules too.

1. Make Match Fixing counters available at stadiums similar to race courses.

2. To avoid the rush it should also be available online

3. Anyone can bid on the capabilities of a maximum of four players

4. All the bookings have to be closed four hours before the match like in Railway Reservation System.

5. Charts containing the information on which players have been booked and for how much amount should be displayed and should also be circulated among the players.

6. The performance of the respective players has to degrade depending on the bidding amount. The higher the biding amount, the worst the performance.

7. To make it more interesting 50% of the players whose capabilities are auctioned can choose to either decrease their performance or play their original game. Why 50%? Why not 30% or 60% or something else??? You might ask, Shame on you we are talking about fair chance for all and thus 50%.

8. To add a twist to that, a player should be awarded for playing up to the expectations of the bidders and it should not be high enough that all the players would be competing for the award.

I can go on, but I chose not to!!!

 

The Story

I watched this movie "Kahaani" by Sujoy Ghosh after reading a review of the movie. I am assuming that anyone who is reading this would have already watched the movie and if you have not then there will be no fun in watching the movie after reading this post. I for one, was always a big fan of Bengalis for their intellect, I guess it has got to do with all the fish they eat. This movie was wonderfully written, directed, acted and never gives away the plot even for the intelligent viewer, and thankfully no song and dance sequences. Moreover it has one movie cliche that I love and use in my posts, repeating the title in the end and it has been used so subtly that you don't even realize it at that moment. Then there is Vidya Balan, my personal favourite. The plot of the movie is, a pregnant lady comes from London to find her missing husband who has been to Calcutta on an assignment.

Even though the movie keeps the suspense intact till the very end, there are intelligent hints left all over for viewers to think there might be more to the story than what is being told and the interesting part is that even after that most viewers fail to recognize them. Some of them are...

The guy in the metro train trying to find the bottle containing poisonous liquid that kills everybody including him.

The fact that  Asst. Sub Inspector Rana, willingly helps Vidya with everything, including picking locks and hacking into systems  and takes her around all the time as if it is his official assignment.

The scene where Vidya asks for the actual name of Rana and when he replies "Satyaki", she thoughtfully smiles to herself and says "Arjuna's Charioteer".

The scene where Rana tells Vidya that she will be a great mother the way she treats kids and she turns around to hide her tears.

The scene where the retired IB officer tells the IB chief that he had trained three people and one has gone bad.

The fact that Vidya copies all the information from Sridhar's computer into a flash drive but does not use it to recover data when IB officer Khan asks her to look for proofs in the computer. 

Then we again come to the point where we try to critique the movie from my point of view.

The movie follows a typical flow and approach that makes it  very unique and different from the regular run of the mill movies with  exaggerated emotions and Hindi movie cliches but by the end it turns into one. 

The perfect ending for me that would sync with the rest of the movie would be the scene where Vidya confronts Milan, the guy responsible for the poisonous gas attack on the metro train.

After Vidya fatally injures Milan and takes his revolver, the guy asks "Who are you?" and she replies "What difference does it make?", shoots him and walks away leaving the envelope containing the flash drive. The movie should have ended there with Rana realizing how she has been spinning a story to use the police and IB  to get to her target.

The scenes where they show the relationship between Vidya and the guy in the metro train and the retired IB officer, and she losing her pregnancy after hearing the news of his death and the final scene between the retired IB officer and Vidya don't sync with the mood set by the rest of the movie. Theses scenes appear as if they have been made to explain mundane details to the average viewer. Instead it could have been just another hint for the viewer to deduce the untold story.

Overall its a great watch and is thoroughly enjoyable.

MaTOR-II

On the lines of MaTOR, here is another theory of relativity that is more relative to Einstein's  Theory of Relativity in that it defines and discusses the Relativity of Time, again in a generic and nothing to do with science, way. Let us get to the definition without further ado.

MaTOR - II states that the perceived outcome of any incident is not absolute and is relative to Time. No there isn't going to be any formula this time.

Let us prove the theory with an example

Time : Circa 1740 A.D.

White Dude A: Dude!! I am thinking of getting myself negro slaves this weekend.

White Dude B: Cool!!! But the prices have gone high these days, its better to go to Africa and capture our own slaves.

White Dude A: No, there is a killer bargain, pay the price for two slaves and get the third one absolutely free!!!

Perceived Outcome:

White Dude B: Sweet!!! I will get myself some too!!!

Time : Circa 2000 A.D.

White Dude A: Dude!! I am thinking of getting  myself negro slaves this weekend.

White Dude B: Shut up!!! What the hell is wrong with you, trying to get us killed!!!

White Dude A: No there is a killer bargain, pay the price for two nigge....

Perceived Outcome:

White Dude B: Bang!! Bang!! Die you Racist Bastard Die!! Die!! Die!! Bang!!Bang!!Bang!! I have nothing to do with this dude.

Another Example

Time : Circa 1780 A.D.

Dude A: Dudes!!! people some day will be able to fly in the air at great speeds and across continents in less than a day!!!

Perceived Outcome:

Dude B,C,D,E,F: What you smokin Bro!!! people can't fly, only birds can fly!!!

Time : Circa 2012 A.D.

Dude A: Dudes!!!people some day will be able to fly in the air at great speeds and across continents in less than a day!!!

Perceived Outcome:

Dude B,C,D,E,F: What you smokin Bro!!! people have been doing  that for over hundred years now!!!

The Perceived Outcome of the same incident varied with Time in both examples. Hence Proved!!!