We are like this only

Those were the days when owning a "Hero Ranger" bicycle was a prestige symbol and I was one of the proud owners. I don't know why but unlike others i don't like to modify the factory fit or try to improve the look and feel by installing add-ons or stickers. So it happened like this that i used to ride my bicycle everywhere and one of our college lecturers who newly started his own coaching center got labels printed with the details of his coaching center and stuck two of them on my bicycle without even consulting me which clearly pissed me off. I truly deeply hated him for what he did and waited patiently for revenge.
God answered my prayers in the form of a new scooter our lecturer has bought, which he was very proud of and used to clean it every chance he got. I shouldn't damage his vehicle because that wouldn't be right since he did not damage mine, the stickers just left an ugly mark so i had to do something similar. I looked for the weak spots and the spare tyre mounted behind the pillion seat and covered with a cover looked like a good candidate for revenge. So I made sure nobody was around and punched my pen into the cover and cut a straight line into the cover and left the scene.
I later reappeared at the crime scene when the lecturer was about to leave and sure enough he was there and it appeared like he already saw what happened and was cursing the person who was behind this. He might have even had a vague suspicion that it might have been me but i acted as an innocent by stander. Some other students acted a bit over smart by showing concern and smirking behind his back which he noticed and his suspicion shifted towards them. He was swearing that he would see the end of the person who did that, poor guy.
Anyway next during recess and lunch time i was chatting with different groups of students and at least 6 of them including two girls have confessed that it was their work and they even described how they did it. The lecturer was hated by most of the students and anyone who took credit for the damage would be a hero amongst others and being the good guy that I am, I let them have their share of lime light.
Well what else should I do, we are like this only.

Planerisms

I know there is no such word... I came up with the following observations when I was on a domestic flight recently.

1. No Matter how many times people fly, there are still some people who don't put their seats in straight up position or put on their seat belts for take off and landing unless the air hostess comes and asks you to do so.
2. There is always at least one jerk who keeps talking over the mobile phone even after listening to the announcement to switch off all the electronic equipment.
3. People stand up and open the luggage compartments as soon as the plane hits the ground even after repeated announcements not to unlock the seat belts until the plane came to a complete halt.
4. People rush towards the gate as soon as it is open for boarding the flight. Hey, guess what.. there are seats for everyone and nobody is going to occupy the seat assigned to you and you don't have to stand.
5. There is always at least one person in the flight who is over sized for the economy seats and if you aren't lucky that person will sit beside you.
   

Americanisms

This word was first introduced to me by my first American manager I worked with. From then, till date I came across many phrases that kept me wondering in general.

1.Rest Room

Why is a bath room / toilet called a Rest room. people are unlikely to rest there. I would rather prefer my couch or bed to rest on.

2. Guy

Almost anyone and anything can be called a guy. Once my onsite manager was pointing at a machine and asked me if i have updated the firmware on that guy to which i replied i never ever attempted to update the firmware on any guy or even girl for that matter.

3. Have a Good One

The first time I heard it i was completely bogged and a bit offended. Only later I realized that he meant Have a Good Day. Then I came to know taht this can be used in place of anything that started with "Have a Good" and ended with day or night or journey or dinner or whatever. lazy I tell you.. damn lazy

4. Sleep Tight

Now wtf is that even supposed to mean was my reaction when someone used it on me. Do you mean tight as in lying down stiff like a rod. Dude that is possible only when I am dead. No No don't even try to explain it.. Please no....

5. Play with it

I still remember the time when our director gave me some code and asked me to "play with it". I suppressed the urge to ask how the hell am i going to play with code as I would be treated as guy who can't see the "big picture". So i found some innovative ways to play with the code. Two days later he asks me if i got the code to work. I was like dude you should be clear about what you want me to do with it. I have been playing with it and we were having such fun and now you ask if i got it to work.

6. Sleep on it
Of all the americanisms this one caught me off guard. I don't get it and I don't want to get it. Again you should be clear about what you want. If you wanted me to think about it you should tell me so, but instead you say sleep on it so I totally kicked it out of my mind and had a good night's sleep and now you ask me if I have come up with a solution. How does one think if they fall asleep, how is sleeping equivalent to thinking. If I slept on something it would probably be all crumpled and out of shape if not crushed or suffocated to death

There are more.. many more that amuse me endlessly

What!!!

what do you call people who can't see... Blind
people who don't want to see...
people who refuse to see... to see the truth
who live in a room with a view...
of blurred reality...
distorted by the sinews of their own minds
and refuse to come out, what do you call those people
It is not the spoon that bends, it is your own mind... they say
Because there is no spoon... do they realize that truth!!
If majority of the people commit the same mistake,
does it cease to be a mistake
Is that the real essence of democracy
Then why do you say that,
why do you say that it is OK just because everybody does
If people belonging to your caste or community or religion or race commit a crime,
does it cease to be a crime
Is that even justifiable
Then why do you say that,
why do you say that it is OK
why do you think that any crime can be justified,
why does anyone think that crime can be justified
Is it arrogance, accumulated by shallow pride!!!
What is it that makes people think these thoughts
What is it???

Words

Its only words.. and words are all I have... lyrics of an old song.
Words are strong, they can stir emotions and feelings
Words are inspiring, they can move nations
Words are weapons, they can inflict wounds so deep that will take years together to heal.
Words are comforting for those in fear
Words are soothing for those in pain
Words are shallow, Words are inadequate...when you see the grief in the eyes of the parents who have lost their only child.

Lost....

I was walking all by myself thinking various thoughts in a dark, gloomy, deserted alley... It seemed so familiar yet very strange... it seems as if i have walked this path, again it seemed as if I have never been there before.

Not sure how long I have walked, but I have walked long enough to forget the purpose of the walk. I was beginning to feel a bit lost when all of a sudden I stumbled upon something or was it some one? I was not sure. I stooped down low, very low only to find a person thin to the bone, covered in rags, under nourished, probably left to die, accompanied by three dogs which are in equally pitiful state. I tried to ignore him like I have ignored people before but there was something in him that kept demanding my attention or was it just me.... I don't know.

I tried to talk with him for reasons beyond comprehension. I asked him... who he is and what is he doing there and why is he in such a state. He kept on talking and as if he was craving to be heard, he talked for what seemed to be like ages. It was as if I have heard it all before but never listened.

He said he was once very important and everybody looked up to him as an example. He used to live in spacious house in a prime locality. He had many friends, and was very popular. There were people who would give away everything for him, people who would die for him. He was a Star.

Then like all things that change over time his life changed too...Some people ignored him, conveniently, some thought he was not that important and some thought there were more important things to life and some are too busy to care. So he walked away he says... and his once well fed, thorough bred dogs followed him. He walked away until he was lost completely and is only seen briefly once in a blue moon by someone walking those dark, lonely alleys.

Sleepless Slumber

I am unable to sleep, don't know why...
I don't remember when was the last time I was unable to sleep, not after I became a father I guess.
So I thought I would catch up with some writing.
I finished the last two posts which were pending for long.
I still can't sleep.... I am tired though
This January I started dieting and exercising with a mission to reduce weight, at that time I was not sure how much I would reduce. After five months I reduced 23KG. If that doesn't sound too large... Here I go again.... I reduced over 50 pounds of weight in five months. Trust me it was not easy. It has been more than a month since I stopped the routine, I have to catch up with it before my weight catches up.
I have noticed that my writings have become more about stuff happening in my life, there is no wrong in it but this isn't my diary. This was meant for thoughts, ideas, giving wings to the need, the need for writing. So I am going to make a conscious effort of not posting stuff happening in my life.
Its 1AM and I feel like i can get up and go to work right away.....

What has the World come to

I didn't believe that I would hear such a thing. What I heard was supposed to make me feel good, but no, it didn't, those words slashed through me like a sword, I was hurt badly, deeply.

One evening going back from work, stopped at a bakery to buy some pastries. I was just randomly pointing at several varieties of pastries for the guy to pack. Meanwhile I observed a couple entering the bakery with a kid. The Dad asked the kid which pastry he would like and he was taking time to choose. I pointed at a pastry for the guy to pack, and it was last piece in its variety. As the guy was picking up the pastry, the kid said he wanted that. The Dad was trying to explain the kid that the pastry is already taken and he has to choose another one, and the kid was not happy about it.

I asked the guy who was packing, to give that pastry to the kid and asked him to pack something else. In the first place I was not too particular about the variety of the pastries and more than that I did not want to disappoint a kid, there was nothing too great about what I did, I thought anybody would do that.

The father was more happy and pleased with what I have done than the kid. He approached me and thanked me to which I said there was nothing to thank me. Then he said "No you don't understand, It has been three months since i came to this city and this is the first pleasant moment I had with the folks in this city. Thank You very much".

Should I be happy? Should I be glad? Should I be proud? It is a shame. Shame on all those who could not care enough for a fellow human.

Lonely Planet

and lonely me.... No I am not depressed, it occurred to me on one of the flights, while i was traveling crazily from one state to another in USA. I covered 5 states in 3 weeks trying to meet as many people as i can. On one of those flights while returning back to the place I worked, i was looking out of the window of the plane. It was already night and the cities were glowing far beneath, it was raining heavily at a far away place and the lightning appeared like a silver lining amidst the dark and dense clouds. Such a beautiful sight and when I turned my gaze inside the cabin it was mostly dark and everybody were asleep and it was as if the whole scenery was just made for me and me alone to appreciate. That was when I felt loneliness, amidst all the people, I was one among them, I was like every body else, but again totally different and totally isolated from everyone. Just like the planet, one among the many billions of heavenly bodies in the galaxy, yet so different, yet so lonely. Is this how it would have felt too, if it had a soul!!!!

Random Connecting Dots

Here we are again... never thought it would happen.. back in the country that denied me an entry thrice... Yes people we are in the US of A, the place where all this blogging started 5 years back.

Finally the people at the U.S. Embassy decided that i am not much of a threat they thought i would be and granted me a visa to their country. In my first visit i worked in San Jose, California. During that period i visited my cousin in Dallas and had to change flights at Denver International Airport and i liked the airport a lot and i kept telling people how much i loved that airport.

Fast Forward five years, our new client is based in Longmont about 53 miles from Denver and I landed at the same airport. Now if i were a Sharukh khan fan i would say

इतनी शिद्दत से मैंने तुम्हे पाने की कोशिश की है
कि हर जर्रे ने मुझे तुमसे मिलाने कि साजिश की है

So i am back at the airport i liked a lot and not just once, I visited it six times during my three week stay. Now for the creme, I visited Dallas again to meet my SIL and got out of the same gate, i got out the first time i visited A30, I still remember it dont knwo why.

The first time i visited US, from our office building one could see Marriott hotel on one side and Adobe office on other side. My SIL's husband was traveling on work to San Jose, he stayed in that Marriott and worked in the Adobe office.

Well....

La Vida es Perra

For those of you wondering what does the title mean....and didn't think of going to Google translator and checking it out for your self... it means Life is a Bitch.

Well i have received mixed responses when i put that as a status message in my gtalk. Some readily agreed, some said its complete shit, some tried to talk me out of it and some wanted to kn0w what is wrong with me. Well nothing is wrong with me, its just a perspective on life in general. You might be thinking what a stupid perspective... let me explain.

First you are born, naked, lonely,miserable, and hungry. If you are lucky enough you and your needs are taken care of by people around you. You are showered with love and affection and start bonding with the ones around you and with the ones that matter to you... and just when you think your life is perfect and it can't be better life will throw in situations that will make you feel miserable lonely desperate angry and all those shitty feelings. Then you put up with all the shit that life throws in your face, get over with them, find happiness then the cycle continues. After all that crap that you have been through does life make it any better for you, no. It starts making things worse, it takes away all the people you love, and you can't even complain because in the first place it has given you all those people. Then as time continues it makes you old, weak and sick and as if all that is not enough, one fine day it leaves you for good to die.

Now tell me isn't Life a Bitch??

Signs of Fatherhood

Now that i have become a father, i started identifying signs that tell you that you are into parenthood

1. You watch your little one for hours together and it always amazes/amuses you even if he/she is fast asleep.
2. You look at the photographs of your little one at least once in a day if you are away in a different city.
3. You go to a mall and your steps automatically take you to the kids section.
4. Suddenly crying kids don't annoy you, moreover you can identify the difference and the reason for crying. Well i can tell the difference between my son's hungry crying, diaper change crying and sleepy crying.
5. You don't feel like leaving him/her and go some where else, even the next room.
6. You watch funny baby videos on youtube
7. You realize that the best moment of your life is when your baby falls asleep in your arms and smiles in his/her sleep.

...and we are back!

As mentioned in my last post i became a father the very next day which is March 17th. I got a call that my wife has to be admitted into hospital and pains have to induced getting her ready for the delivery, as the amniotic fluid levels are low. The actual estimated date was March 28th.

I had a long road trip planned with friends that week and this news came just a day before i was about to start. Some wise man once said, Ok Woody Allen said "How to make God laugh: Tell him your future plans."
While i was driving to my wife's hometown i had some quality time with God. It went on like this...

Me: I always wanted a girl and knowing you long enough it is going to be a boy, isn't it?
God: (chuckle)....
Me: Well guess what, deep inside i am prepared for a boy...
God: hmmmm
Me: Ok since you are going to have it your way and since you played spoil sport with my road trip let him be a chubby, adorable, cute looking baby.
God: aaaahhhh....
Me: What does that mean?
God: (sarcastic smile) you already said it
Me: You are going to have it your way....
God: hmmm....(chuckle again)
Me; You have got a very twisted sense of humour, do you know that?
God: Thank you, i get that a lot... now excuse me, i have a life to plan

Well my wife delivered a baby boy that afternoon at around 3:45PM. When they brought him out of the delivery room, his eyes were open and he gave me that "Are you the one responsible for this " look. I was afraid to hold him for a couple of days, then i got used to it.

Last Post

This is my last post for some time, I am not sure when i would start posting again. Got a call that my wife is being admitted into the hospital and mostly, tomorrow I will be a father. As of now i am in a state of calmness. Nothing seems bothering enough to break this trance. I always wanted a girl but i don't care anymore. There are people who would think that i would be pretty disappointed if it is not going to be a girl but it does not matter anymore. I already fell in love with this little one entering my life and i am eager to meet him/her.

And So It Begins...

Yesterday's scan revealed that the baby has turned head down, ready to travel down the birth canal. It got me into thinking if the baby is really ready to face this world.
Nine month's ago he/she(we don't know the sex yet) has traveled in the opposite direction along with millions of others inching their way to the womb.(Science Fact: A sperm travels about one third of an inch in an hour, a strenuous journey I bet) Out of the hundreds that have made it to the womb this one has successfully fertilized the egg passing the first test for survival. He/She started as a single cell organism and in nine months, developed limbs, brain, organs, senses and turned into a fully grown baby.(Science Fact: The weight of the original fertilized egg has increased six billion times! What a concept!). Its fascinatingly amazing to even think that nine months back i could not even see this one with my naked eye and now i will be holding him/her in my arms any day this month.

I have been flooded with questions all these nine months with people asking me how i felt. Honestly the only feeling i had is concern for the health of my wife and the little one growing inside. As the time approaches for me to meet the baby i am overwhelmed by a flood of emotions. I am worried, scared, happy, anxious, excited at the same time.

Lots of questions

Do I have what it takes to be a good father? i am not even sure what it takes to be a good father.
Will i raise him/her so that he/she can live with his/her head held up
Will i be successful in passing them the principles and values to live by, like they were passed on to me by my father.
Will i be able to teach him/her to be self dependent like my father taught me to be.
Will he/she be proud of me like i am proud of my father.
Will i be at least half a good father as my own father was.

I don't have answers, maybe the time will tell... It would have been great if my dad could be here to help me out through this stage. I would love, for him to be here to hold the baby like he held me when i was born.

The question i have now is Am I Ready? I don't know but i am sure i will be ready when i have to be ready

You can do anything... Seriously

So i was driving to office like every other day minding my own business and suddenly this car zapped past me. i found something written on the rear window so followed it closely. It is more of a hobby, i get nearer to vehicles if i find anything written and read it to see if it amuses me.
The writings on this car amused me so much that i almost missed the turn i should take to my office.

"Nothing is impossible and you can do anything you want
If you want success please call +919347831636"

I had to chase the car for a long time before i could get the number by heart. In the above sentence "success" was written in Telugu, i am sure the guy didn't know the spelling. If any of you losers reading this post want success, go ahead call.

I am going to definitely call when i am really bored and in need of some serious entertainment and for that i have framed some questions. No I am not going to put them here... maybe i will if i get answers

Masks

बहुरूपिये को रूप बदलने में देर नही लगती

The above sentence was from a film and when I first heard it I didn't know the meaning. All I knew was it was from a Raj Kapoor movie.

When i look back and into my life I realize that it could have been my dialogue, and not just mine. Most of my life, I have been hiding under masks and i have changed one too many. I was successful in making many people believe that the facade I put up is my original face, although the intention was not to fool and mislead people. It was more for self defense rather than harming others.

There were times when i wore masks to be accepted, to be avoided, to be mediocre, to make others feel better, to protect my feelings, to hide my intentions, to please others and many more. Then there were those times i wore masks to manipulate others, to hide my shallowness. I have changed masks so often and so many that at some point I lost track.

I hate my masks, i hate all of them
I don't like wearing one
my intentions don't matter
I don't like these games i play
and among those masks
in some lost dimension
lies my true self
waiting to be identified


Now i have reached a stage where i am not sure if I am wearing a mask or not. The masks i wear formed my identity.

Jai Ho

It fills my heart with joy and pride....
Indians at Oscars,
Indians winning Oscars,
I hope to see more of these going further and at this point of time all I have to say is "Jai Ho" to all who have worked towards making this happen

An Apple a Day

Did you know what did Edison do when he saw an apple fall from the tree? Nothing, he ate it. It was Newton who thought about gravity when he saw an apple falling from a tree. Got you didn't I ?

Anyway if you look at the world of fruits, apple is the only fruit with so many stories around it. There is even that saying "An apple a day keeps the doctor away". I am sure it was framed by apple seller's association.

Regular visitors to my blog know that i am on a diet. The dietitian gave me a lengthy list of vegetables, meat and fruits that i am supposed to avoid. We have apple in that list, i am not sure why. So i was thinking about the apple and since gravity has already been discovered , i had to discover something else.

The first ever known reference to apple was in the garden of Eden, when God advised Adam not to eat the fruit which was in turn conveyed to Eve. Now we don't know whether there was a communication gap between Adam and Eve and the message was not conveyed properly, or Eve was sowing the seeds of feminism by refusing to take orders from a man in fact the only man around. We just know that Eve was lured by Satan in the form of a snake to eat the apple and she gave in to temptation. Then she tempted Adam to eat the fruit and since he did not want to displease her, the only woman around, and being such a sucker, ate the fruit and all hell broke loose. (Feminists reading this post, no offense intended)

This whole episode got me into thinking, why apple amongst all the fruits in the garden of Eden? Why not orange or some other fruit? Why is it in the garden if no one is supposed to eat? Why is gaining knowledge bad? lots of questions. After putting a lot of thought into it, it occurred to me that, maybe its not about eating the forbidden fruit of knowledge, maybe it is something else.

If we consider the scenario before eating the fruit, Adam and Eve were just wandering around happily in the garden, oblivious to the fact they are naked. On second thoughts one can't say they were happy, they were ignorant, ignorant of everything and like they say "ignorance is bliss". So we can say, they were in a state of bliss. Then God chose the most appealing fruit, red in colour and shining and told them not to eat. He could have chosen anything less appealing, because he was the one who created the garden of Eden so he could have put knowledge anywhere else. He didn't have to put knowledge in the fruit, he could have put something else, but he didn't want to make it easy for them because he had to see if they can resist the desire , the temptation, more than eating the fruit of knowledge it is this vice that he wanted to test.

It was a carefully thought and well crafted plan. The fruit was meant to be eaten, the rule was meant to be broken and Adam and Eve were meant to be sent to the earth, but if he banishes them to Earth they will not survive unless they have "knowledge", so he had to put knowledge in the forbidden fruit.

So there you go, the fruit was not forbidden because of the knowledge it contained, but on the other hand the knowledge was put in there to enable Adam and Eve to survive if they failed to resist temptation, the deadliest vice.

Bloopers

I love to watch bloopers and movie mistakes and used to wonder how come i never observed those mistakes when i was watching a movie. However hard i tried i could never catch any mistakes.

Finally i caught one. It was a very cleverly edited advertisement of Tata Sky + where amir khan keeps ranting about the importance of wives and their preference to watch serials when asked by a friend to ask his wife to stop watching the serial so that they can watch women's singles tennis match.

If you watch carefully, in the first shot there is a glass of orange juice in front of amir khan. The glass is ordinary and cylindrical from top to bottom. In the last shot where the wife is talking about the features of Tata Sky + and amir kahn and his friend are shown in backdrop, you can still see the glass of orange juice but the glass automatically transformed into a wine glass. YAY to me.

Make a Difference

Everybody is talking about saving the forests, global warming, conserving energy etc etc. Even I talk about them, but i own a SUV. Now you know where this is going.
So it happened like this that one news channel thought that some one has to do something about saving the planet. It aired a 24 hour non-stop Green Marathon programme that hosted several people giving their valuable tips on how to conserve electricity, water, nature reduce pollution, population etc etc. Again nothing was done except for talking.

I could have given them a better idea than that for free only if they would have asked me. The idea is to shutdown their news channel for 24 hours.

• It would conserve electricity as all the offices of the news channel are shut down.

• It would have conserved a lot of water that all the people in the office would consume.

This is the point where a "smart cookie" would think of saying "oh come on, those people will consume water at their respective homes anyway". So this explanation below is for that "smart cookie". There are lots of people who don't bother to take a bathe if they don't have to go out. People don't go to the bathroom for washing their face after entering or before leaving office. People at home consume much less water than people at office basically due to the facts that they don't have to bother about it being over or paying for the water they use. Enough explanation

• It would have reduced both air and noise pollution because the people are not commuting.

• It would have conserved nature because the Air Conditioners are shut down and all the paper that is consumed in one day is conserved and trees are saved.

There you go, but it would have an adverse effect on reducing population as the otherwise busy people, sitting idle in their respective homes might get ideas.

Now I would like to dedicate this post to the actor/ nature conservationalist Afthab Sihvdasani for his most incredible tip on what he does and begs us to do for conserving nature. During his bathe, he turns off the shower while applying soap. Now if you plan to do so too or even think of doing so, this post is dedicated to you too. Adding to it he says that it is these small things that make the difference. Hmm i guess selling off his sports bike and sports car wouldn't make much difference.

Some fan of this actor might want to come back at me saying "How dare you piece of fecal matter, you have no right to talk about him while you own a SUV". Well agreed, but i already turn off the shower while applying soap and even skip taking bath when i don't have to go out.

Nothing

It has been some time. At times i would open the editor feeling the need, the need for writing something and instead of writing i just sit there staring blankly, just like the state of my mind, completely blank. Nothing is happening inside my brain. I look around, read papers, books, magazines, blogs listen to FM, watch TV but nothing. It is as if nothing worthy is happening around that would motivate me to express.

I have a lengthy list of blogs that i searched and found interesting, but even those are not being updated often. It all started (searching blogs) when i came across an article about blogs and in particular, about a an Indian blog that receives most number of hits. That is how i found eM. After that it was just checking out her blogger list and then the blogger list of the blogger in eM's blogger list and so on. Hmm how about writing what i think about each blogger in my list, that would be good. Anyway, thanks eM.

OK, getting back to the point which is "Nothing", I have been in this state of nothingness for some time and i desperately wanted to get out of it and that is the reason why I started writing this one.

I read somewhere, something along the lines of "Happy people seldom achieve anything great". How true!! If somebody is content with themselves and everything happening around, they would not put any efforts towards anything. I wouldn't.

That made me think if i was happy and maybe that was the reason "Nothing" is provoking any thoughts or feelings or ideas. If that is so, then i don't want to be happy, i would be very unhappy to be happy.

A long walk

"Little does it matter to me", he thought and started walking.
His feet were moving swiftly,
and body started to sweat.
His eyes were fixed on the scene ahead,
while a familiar noise grazed in his head.

He walked for 10 and then 20
and even half-an-hour
He increased his pace
and started to run,
but failed to cover any ground
The scene , the place, and everything else
remained the same and the same noise
still playing in his head.

All of sudden the noise stopped
everything came to a halt,
his legs tripped and
he almost fell flat on his face
Shaken by the turn of events
he slowly turned around
walked towards his cycle
mounted it, started pedaling
and thought "Damn!! these power cuts" .

Mkan's A Series of Depressing Events or Help Me God, I am Die(t)ing!!

It all started about 12 years back.
Those were the times i never had to bother about eating stuff and putting on weight.
Those were the times, when the instructor in the gym used to set me as an example on how to maintain fitness.
Those were the times, when i could fit perfectly into any kind of dress.
Those were the times, when i could skip for 20 minutes and do 120 push ups.

Times have changed now.
Apart from getting old i have also added lots of mass over the past 12 years.
One of the reasons being not keeping up my strict exercise routine.
I watched myself as the waist size of my trousers kept on increasing but didn't do much to keep it under control.

The past two years were the worst as i grew out of all the available sizes in all the brands. The only brand that i can get myself into is "ALL" (A Little Larger).

It has come to the point where i started avoiding shopping malls because the whole experience of looking at all the stuff there and realizing that i can't fit into them depressed me to the core. It's like all your favourite food is available but you can't eat them, you just have to watch and go on.

It is not just with clothes, there were lots of other things that i would like to do but cannot do. These lead to more depression. I have tried to get back into my exercise routine but never could continue it for long thanks to my lifestyle and laziness.

All these depressing events called for desperate measures and i had to go consult a doctor. Now the doctor put me on a strict diet and exercise routine which i have to follow if i really want to get back into shape and he will be monitoring my progress every week. Since all my other attempts failed and burdened by my weight and the resultant depression i agreed to it.

Third week into the routine......

I still don't fit into the clothes at the shopping malls which is depressing (of course i can't expect to), now i can't even eat my favourite food.

So now its not just the shopping malls that depress me, going to a super market, the sight of my favourite restaurants or even the ads that advertise food depress me. All these depressions are frustrating.

All that i am allowed to eat leaves my mouth tasteless and the quantities i eat leave me hungry. I did not give in to temptation yet. The other day i was offered a samosa and a sweet and my brain waged a war with my conscience, finally my conscience won, it was the most difficult thing.

Did you ever experience words biting you back? Well that always happens to me.

When i was asked to diet earlier, my reply used to be "If one cannot even eat what one wants to eat, there is no point in living ".

When i was asked why i never touch green salad or even vegetables, my reply used to be "just because a lion is hungry, it does not mean that it will eat grass ".

Now all i am allowed to eat is green salad and vegetables.

OK, come bite me and bite me hard.

Amongst all these the only comfort i have is the subway food that i am allowed to eat, that too without the mayo.

Slowly i hope to get out of each depression and be myself again.

Misty Mystique

All captured with my Nokia N72 (which is now resting in mobile phone heaven) while on a road trip.

You Will Regret

I was trying to pay my electricity bill online the other day. Now i belong to IT industry and being a lazy person, I take advantage of anything that will not result in moving myself physically. So pretty much everything that can be done sitting at my desk, I do. That includes transferring money, paying credit card bills, paying utility bills etc etc.
The government of A.P. has thankfully launched a website where you could register and pay your utility bills including electricity bills, telephone bills, water bills, property taxes. Earlier it used to be standing for hours together (although realistically it used to take about half an hour) at the respective department offices in long queues waiting for your turn to pay the bill only to be asked by the jerk at the counter to go and get exact denomination. So i have been taking advantage of this facility for a couple of years.
Last time when i logged in to pay my electricity bill something came up and usually i would be pissed off but the error message they displayed made my day. Please click on the image for a larger view and read the circled message and if you did not laugh you will regret.

Points to ponder

I had the privilege of talking to a learned gentleman couple of days ago and he gave me something to ponder and pass on to others like they were passed on to him.


1. Everybody is selfish on one level or another

I contemplated a lot and tried to argue
I thought it is a more generalized statement and there always have been exceptions to that. My conscience argued, nobody is an exception. There are people who are known for their selfless acts but were they always selfless to the core, I don't think so. Although at some degree the selfishness is not visible or it is so negligible that it does not affect anyone in a negative way. I could give a lot of explanations but that is not the point of posting it. It is up to each and every individual to derive a conclusion for themselves.


2. Love descends, it does not ascend

This is something that i failed to understand until the context was explained. What the gentleman meant was that the amount of love and affection one shows to his/her parents is negligible when compared to the love and affection showered on his/her children. The simple point he stated is that when things go wrong you would always count how much you have done to make your parents happy but you would never do that to your kids. I had nothing to argue against it. It is a universal fact and if somebody is in a mood to debate against it i am game for it.

Happiness

Happiness is, your four year old niece calling from US and telling that she saw you in her sleep.

Office Humour

Read this before going further.
More excerpts from the mails of the people I tolerate on a daily basis. I swear i did not change a single letter.

1.

Dear Colleagues,

The following people were attending the Tele Conference from X and K is going to moderate the total Discussion.

If you did not get the glitch in that statement please leave your contact details, i will make it a point to make fun of you personally.

2.
Please go ahead and place the order for 4 chairs. Give two chairs for the Dev. team and the other two will take care the new joinee’s

I am appalled

3.
General leave should be availed for not more than 3 consecutive working days. Any 3 consecutive leaves shall be availed either before or after the vacation or weekend but not on both the ends.

Both the ends? This could have been one of those What The Duck moments if i was not laughing my "posterior" off, when i read that mail. For those who did not get it they don't want us to take 3 consecutive leaves such that there is a holiday or weekend in between like Thursday, Friday and Monday with the weekend in between. Now go laugh your "posterior" off.

4.
All the Security Staff,
On a random check it was observed that there are some items identified to be as CD’s/DVD’s, USB’s are been commuted in and out of the office.

It was strictly prohibited and you are requested to monitor them continuously. To protect and safe guard the Information you have to make thorough checks and the prime responsibility lies on you in protecting them. I too was no exception to do your Job.


Dear Colleagues: To keep and maintain the highest standards of Information Security and integrity, I request all of you to cooperate with the security in discharging their duties. This is an effort not to humiliate or under privilege any body but to make strong security practices and protect the Organizations interests and integrity.

I hope all of you will take the message in the right spirit.

P: Make sure the message gets communicated to all the Security Staff.

Forget the usage of words, forget the grammar the Security Staff don't have an Email ID. It is evident in the last line where "P" is asked to convey the message to the security staff.

The next point worth noting is maintaining "Highest Standards of Information Security" by checking bags, pockets and lunch boxes.

If you did not laugh yet and wondering "now whats wrong with that!!" then maybe you should consider becoming a Director of a software company.

Again if found that I posted these, I could be fired. Since there are only a handful that visit my blog, I am safe.

What Dreams May Come

I love to sleep a lot and usually I don't dream, or rather I don't remember what I dream.
However there are these two dreams that keep repeating so many times in my life till now that i remember even the minute details about those dreams.

1. There is this train and i keep missing it every single time, although i never missed a bus or a train or a flight.

Every time the situation is different, a different station, a different location, at times i am alone and at times i am accompanied by friends or family members. There were times when the stations and locations were not imaginary. With all these differences the dream was always the same, missing the train.

At times i am late , at times i am in the train but got down for something or someone and at times i jump off the train as someone with me could not get into the train, there was this time when we i was on one platform but the train arrived on a different platform. The final result is the same every time, i miss the train. There were times when i even chased the train

I still remember the one time that i caught the train, I climbed the engine. I dreamt that i missed my flight couple of times. Train or flight the outcome is the same, i miss my transportation. It has been a long time since that dream repeated, I miss my Dream Train.

2. Exams, i was never afraid of exams, being more or less in the top five of the class and with the sincerity and dedication that i used to attend all the classes, i was always prepared for exams.

There is this exam, i have not prepared and it is already the day of the exam. This dream repeated itself with such intensity and reality quotient that once i woke up startled all covered in sweat, i switched on the light and checked the date only to realize that i finished my exams couple of days back.

It was a different exam every time, i still remember some English, Hindi, Statistics. At times i was prepared for a different exam and it used be a different one, at times it was already the time for exam, my mom was waking me up, i wake up and realize i didn't prepare for it. This dream repeated even a couple of months back.

When it comes to nightmares i seldom have nightmares, there are these two nightmares that i remember. Both the times it was as if somebody was holding me down although i could not see anyone, i was unable to move and i couldn't even shout. Both the times i got up and realized that i was still unable to move and when i tried to shout all that came out was air. Next moment everything was back to normal. Weird I know.

Some random moments of my life

Congratulations to everybody who survived 2008 and All the Best to you all as you step into 2009. Ok, i am being cynic... Happy New Year Everybody

I am feeling nostalgic these days so why don't we go back into my memory lane and pickup some excerpts.

I was born in the beginning of the last quarter of 20th century, that makes me..... OLD

I would have been lost forever when a girl in my kindergarten class took me to her house for playing, if not for my mom who threatened the gatekeeper of my school that she would kill him if he did not find me before it got dark.Thankfully the gatekeeper saw me going with the girl and he also knew the house of that girl.

I was a shy kid and girls used to boss over me and made me play house with them although i wanted to go out and play with other guy kids.

I have changed 7 schools in 12 years of my education. The maximum time i stayed in a school was 3 years. That might be one of the reasons i did not make some long lasting friendships during that time. I even studied my Intermediate (plus 2), graduation, and post graduation in two different colleges each. I think that is a record.

My first crush was when I was 16 years old, it would have worked out well only if i had the guts to go to the girl and talk.

I was crazy about playing cricket and that is the reason i could not get a rank in the Common Entrance Test to become an Engineer that my parents always wanted me to become. I could not become a cricketer either because i stopped playing cricket after that. However I have become a Software Engineer which more or less satisfied my parents.

When i was in my school me and couple of my friends went to this place where they sold the applications for "National Talent Search Examination". Not that i had any talent, but because it gave an opportunity to go somewhere i have never been before. It was a huge house which was partially converted into a school. After 6 years during graduation one of my close friends took me to his house and DejaVu. I have been visiting that house for the past 14 years.

I lost my best friend to cancer during my post graduation. I will write about her some other time.

The reason i landed in my current job is due to my addiction towards computer games.

I have been working in the same company for the past five and half years. I think this compensates for all the school shifting i did.