Burning Issues

The title is self explanatory.... A couple of weeks ago there were a couple of burning issues going around and incinerating almost everybody standing in the way. The burning issues were, India losing miserably in world cup, Sachin cutting a cake in the shape of Indian flag, mandira bedi sporting a religious symbol as a tattoo on her back, things like these.

These became the talk of the town, everybody voicing their opinions strongly on what is right and what is wrong and what should be done. Questions arised... Is it ok for sachin to cut a cake shaped like an Indian flag, Is it Ok to burn the Indian flag to voice your disappointments, How does sporting a religious symbol disrespect an entire religion. The media hyped it , they arranged discussions, they bring some famous pscychologists and they would analyse everything that could have been going through the mind of sachin when he was cutting the cake and its impact on socio-economic situation of the middle east.

Well I felt that i should be voicing my opinion too and that was the reason i ever started this post. So i saved this as a draft with the title and some text. Then i got busy for two weeks and finally i opened it , but when i look around none these are burning issues anymore, they are not even issues, people have moved on as if nothing has happened.

If people have stopped thinking about those after some time, then maybe in the first place these were not issues at all... if these were not issues, was it worth wasting your emotions , opnions, ideas, thought and time.

OCD

I don't remember when was the first time i have heard this term but, i remember one of my friends saying that he has this problem. Before someone starts wondering what OCD is, let me expand it for you Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Sounds like a serious psychological disorder, but is it! Like i have said my friend has this disorder but one wouldn't notice until he mentions it. The problem is he lives in a mammoth house and has to lock about 8 to 9 doors every day before sleeping. So his first iteration consists of locking each door. Second iteration consists of checking if the doors are really locked, when i say checking it means he unlocks the door and locks it again to make sure it is locked properly. Final iteration consists of just going around and seeing if he hasn't missed locking any door. There is something else, he has around 12 to 15 portraits of different Gods all over the house and every day it is his duty to pray to all of those in the first iteration and repeat the same in the second iteration so that he wouldn't miss anyone. Otherwise he is a very normal everyday person.

Is this really a disease? should you be admitted into a hospital and get treated or visit a shrink and lose your money and valuable time. I think everyone of us has an OCD , if you consider Disorder as offending then lets call it OCB , B standing for behavior or even better if we can say Challenged with Obsessive Compulsion. So i think every one of us have obsessive compulsion for doing something or other at different levels. When i say levels, i mean the levels of your obsession and compulsion.


Am i suffering from OCB, yes i am. I am obsessed with correcting other's (some times my own) spellings and grammatical errors to the point of frustrating/irritating the people around me. I have been consciously noticing this behavior for the past one year. In the beginning i thought it was not big deal but when i actually thought of resisting myself from doing that, i heard my inner me declaring "Resistance is Futile". That's when i came to a conclusion that its my OCB.

I am trying to overcome by closing my lips tightly, clenching my fists, and getting away from the keyboard when i am chatting or sending mails. There is very less success rate but i am on my way. I don't know why i do that ,Its not like the entire world has levied the responsibility of correcting spelling and grammatical mistakes on me, i simply cannot stand when people make spelling or grammatical mistakes. That does not mean i don't commit mistakes, i do but then i correct them. Do you know i read my mails 3 to 4 times before sending them.

Now how do i support my behavior! Oh yes this behavior of mine will only bring good to the civilization. Let us take a scenario. Suppose i have been sending mails to a bunch of people with a misspelled word very often. Lets take the example of Diary (personal log book). Suppose i have been spelling it as Dairy instead of Diary, some of them would notice but overlook it and i keep using the word Dairy very often in my mails and everybody will get used to it. After some time if any one of those reading my mails were supposed to send a mail to someone else and they had to use the word Diary(personal log book) would spell it as Dairy since that spelling was refreshed in their brain several times incorrectly by me. Do you see what happens...I started a chain reaction and this would soon spread everywhere and finally the webster's and oxford dictionaries have to swap the meanings of Diary and Dairy so that the usage is corrected.(People can't be corrected because they believe what majority of them believe and by then majority of them will believe that Dairy is correct spelling for personal log book). I am sure by now some of you are not sure what the correct spelling is.

So can you see the kind of calamity i am trying to fight. Now i can finally sleep peacefully that even though my OCB is frustrating/irritating to many, it is avoiding a great catastrophe.

By the way did i tell you guys that i have pointed out mistakes in our company's quality policy even though i knew that it was phrased by our CEO and Director. Well they had to change it and now i am not one of their favorites and they try to avoid eye contact with me when i am around. Don't blame me that's my OCD


So what is your OCD??

Famous Last Words

I guess i have convinced the readers of my blog that i am not depressed. To emphasize the fact I am dedicating this blog to my collection ("FUNNY") of famous last words. These are not actual last words that came out of actual people's mouths. For example if you watch cartoons or some really funny movies one of the character would ask "Whats this big red button here?" and presses and KABOOOOM blows out everything including himself. So on the similar grounds here is a collection of funny hypothetical last words. (Some of them might be actually true but nobody knows.)

1. Don't worry, I read somewhere that bears mostly eat roots and berries.

2. For my next trick I will escape from this flaming coffin while wearing a straight jacket and singing Eye Of The Tiger.

3. I'll get a world record for this.

4. Let me reach in and get your watch out of the printing press.

5. Hey there's no handles inside these car doors!

6. I will prove to you that this suit is fireproof.

7.What does this button do?

8. It's probably just a rash.

9. Are you sure the power is off?

10. The odds of that happening have to be a million to one!

11. Pull the pin and count to what?

12. Which wire was I supposed to cut?

13. I wonder where the mother bear is.

14. What do you mean its not possible ..I've seen this done on TV.

15. These are the good kind of mushrooms.

16. I'll hold it and you light the fuse.

17. Rat poison only kills rats.

18. It can't possibly rain for forty days and nights.

19. Give me liberty or give me death.

20. This rope is strong enough for both of us.

21. That birthmark on your head looks like 999.

22. Nice doggie.

23. I can do that with my eyes closed.

24. I'll just slip into the commuter lane for a second

25. And now that I'm running my life support equipment through Windows 95, I'll never have to worry about-- beeeeeeeep...


Funny aren't they....

Withdrawal

One of the readers of my blog ( there aren't many) has mentioned that she has noticed withdrawal in my recent posts. Seriously even after a good explanation i am still not sure what that word means. So we have substituted another simpler word for withdrawal... "depression". So i was sounding depressed in those posts.

I would like to assure all the readers (I KNOW.... there aren't many) that i am definitely not depressed nor pessimistic and not even thinking negatively. Reasons

1. I need to be inspired to write something even if it is crap (crap in a funny way).

2. How inspired will i be if i am depressed... i will not even be inspired to crap, let alone writing crap. (Again crap in a very very funny way)

I know it sounds a bit crude and dirty but you have to agree that it definitely puts things in proper perspective.

So the last two posts were written with very positive thoughts and happy feelings. Yes, they might have given a wrong impression and from now onwards i will remember to insert smileys to show that i am not depressed.

Again let me reassure that these are not Withdrawals... only Deposits if you know what I mean